Emotional intelligence is not just about knowing how to manage your own emotions—it’s also about using skillful communication to build and maintain strong relationships. People with high EQ excel at expressing care, understanding, and support through their words, creating warmth and trust in others. Today, let’s explore 9 common communication techniques used by highly emotionally intelligent people.

1. Soothe Emotions: Empathy Is Key

When others are feeling down or venting frustrations, highly emotionally intelligent people don’t rush to offer solutions. Instead, they first provide emotional support. When someone complains about an unpleasant work experience, acknowledge their feelings before suggesting possible solutions. For example: “I understand how frustrating this must be—it’s enough to make anyone upset. Maybe we could talk to the colleague and help them understand the urgency of the project; that might help ease the problem.”

This approach not only soothes the other person’s emotions but also makes them feel cared for and supported.

2. Listen More, Speak Less

People with high EQ know that good communication is built on listening. In conversations, they dedicate roughly 70% of the time to listening and only about 30% to speaking.By encouraging the other person to share more, they build deeper connections. For example, if someone talks about learning to cook recently, you might respond: “That sounds fun! What dishes have you learned? Any recommendations?” This makes the other person feel valued and understood, strengthening your relationship.

3. Offer Advice Using the “Sandwich” Method

When giving advice, high-EQ individuals often use the “sandwich” method: start with praise, then offer constructive suggestions, and end with encouragement. For example: “You’ve been doing really well with client outreach lately—the success rate has gone up. Maybe you could try focusing your calls in a specific time block for better efficiency. I’m sure doing so will make your work even easier and more productive.” This way, the person feels recognized for their progress while remaining motivated to improve.

4. Extend Invitations Clearly and Structurally

When inviting someone, high-EQ communicators state their intention first, then the reason, and finally the conclusion.For instance: “How about catching a movie together tonight? There’s a new release in a genre you enjoy—how about we go see it together?”

5. Give Options When Inviting to Gatherings

When inviting someone to a gathering, high-EQ people avoid making them feel pressured. They might add a reassuring phrase: “We’re getting together this weekend nearby. If it gets late for you, feel free to leave anytime.” This shows sincerity while giving the other person freedom, avoiding any sense of being forced.

6. Report Work Clearly and Concisely

When reporting work, high-EQ communicators use the “Problem + Action + Result” structure, making it clear and persuasive. For example: “In this promotional campaign, we faced a shortage of traffic from our channels. So, we adjusted our strategy, partnered with popular influencers, and optimized ad placement. As a result, participation exceeded expectations by 30%.” This style is both concise and convincing.

7. Give Compliments with Specific Details

High-EQ people know that genuine compliments should focus on specifics rather than vague praise. For example: “That dress really suits you—the color brings out your complexion beautifully, and the shoes you paired with it show great taste. Overall, you look stylish and elegant.” Specific compliments convey sincerity and genuine appreciation.

8. Break the Ice by Sharing Something Personal

When talking to strangers, sharing a small flaw about yourself can help break the ice. For example: “I’m not very good at keeping plants alive—every time I buy one, it ends up dying. Do you have any tips?”

9. Decline Requests with Understanding, Reason, and Alternatives

When saying no, high-EQ communicators first show understanding, then give a reason, and finally suggest an alternative. For example: “I understand this event is important to you, but my workload is overwhelming right now, and I just can’t make the time.However, I can recommend some reliable friends who might be able to help.” This approach is polite, respectful, and avoids the awkwardness of a flat refusal.

High emotional intelligence is not just the art of getting along with others—it’s a skill that can be developed. Whether it’s emotional management, communication strategies, or social skills, these abilities can be improved with consistent effort. Through ongoing self-reflection and adjustment, we can become more confident, composed, and adept at expressing ourselves and connecting with others.